Global issues today

A warning to be heeded

2007-08-09T20:56:00.000+10:00

Please do not make the same mistake that I made. By default I opened an ING Superannuation account, via my old employer, and I recently tried to transfer my accrued super to my Virgin Super account.

I filled out all the forms, crossed my Ts, dotted my Is - Signed, sealed and delivered. For those who haven't transferred money between super funds before, the forms require the membership number of your old fund. This is relevant (see below).

My other superannuation accounts all transferred the money with no argument. ING, however, sent me a letter stating they were waiting on confirmation from my old employer that they weren't going to make any more contributions. OK, fair enough (thought I, oh so naively).

Well today I got another letter:

Dear Ms [my name],
Just because you have left your previous employer ... does not mean you need to change your superannuation fund.
[blah blah blah]
We are pleased to advise you that we have transferred [enter substantial amount of money here] to Integra Super Personal. Your new member number is xxxx1234567890xxxx. Please quote this number on all future correspondence. Etc.

So not only did they blatantly ignore my request to transfer my money to Virgin, but they sabotaged my entire request by giving me a new member number.

The worst part is yet to come. They actually CHARGED me a transfer fee plus management fees for their completely criminal act.

So my warning is quite significant. Whatever you do, do not put your money anywhere near ING or you'll never see it again, minus all their fees. They have stolen my super and I'm not sure what approach to take, but I'm not going to bend over and make it easy for them to [you know what].

High school graduates all stupid.

2006-10-18T18:03:00.000+10:00

A large chunk of what I learned in high school is no longer stored in my memory banks 12 years down the track. There were some things of specific interest to me that I retained, but most of the maths equations and chemical formulas have long since gone by the way of the dodo. Even the subjects I enjoyed had limited impact on me. I doubt I could name every internal feature of an animal cell or list the geological eras in chronological order. I can’t tell you the exact dates of Dadaism or quote any poems in full.

I put my inability to recall most of what I learned in school down to the fact that it hasn’t proven particularly useful throughout the course of my life. In fact, I’m sort of finding out that most of the knowledge I really need in life I was never taught at all.

I am currently feeling like a complete dope because I’m facing aspects of life I know nothing about, like buying a house and entering a 30-year mortgage.

I tried researching online a little, but the jargon got me down. Offset this and standard variable that. I ended up signing up to be contacted by a financial adviser for some free, no-obligation information. He called me pretty promptly and explained some terminology to me, but I was just glad he couldn’t see my face and is unlikely to ever meet me, because I feel a tad stupid.

My friends recently bought a house and I asked them “How did you do it?” When you’re a little kiddy it never crosses your mind that something like living in your own house could prove the most mind-warping experience ever. I wish I studied at least one subject in economics at university. I feel like all those people who studied economics have a distinct advantage over me.

I don’t really understand what school is all about. Yes, they teach you the basic of adding, how to use a pencil or hold a paint brush, some fundamentals about the layout of the world and a few other things that make good foundations for life, but all that stuff comes from Primary school. What are they teaching us in High school?

The things I wish I learned that I never did include LOTS to do with investing and smart ways to spend money (to avoid being the guy who won $10 million in the lottery and has blown it all in 8 years on incredibly bad advice), how to win friends and influence people (there’s a book, but it’s sexist, racist and horribly out-dated), ways to live without harming animals and the environment, how to cook (not just pizza, but how to use ingredients creatively), how to publish a book, how to design my own clothes, make patterns and sew, how world events and history has influenced local and global economies (to avoid future investment disasters), etc etc etc.

I’m sorry, Ms Maths Teacher, but I never did find a use for the trigonometric sine function of 3dx on 2dy to the inverse power of negative 9. Why didn’t you just teach me how to buy a house?

80,000 Americans killed

2006-10-06T22:43:00.000+10:00

The big tsunami. You know which one. Donations poured in from around the world. India asked the world to stop sending money, they had too much, they could afford their own rebuilding, and yet still the money poured in. Where did it go? To the big tourist areas, those places we’ve been, or at the very least heard of.

A year ago an earthquake struck Kashmir and 80,000 people died. Have a look at that number in words, perhaps it will have more of an impact. EIGHTY THOUSAND. No, even spelt out in capitals it still fails to strike. Why?

Where’s Kashmir?

Kashmir is a disputed part of the Indian / Pakistan border territory lying in the Himalayan mountain range. Apparently an area of great beauty at the best of times, it has become a living hell for the nearly 2 million, TWO MILLION, people left homeless after that savage earthquake destroyed countless lives and homes.

Why care?

Can you even imagine what the impact would be on everyone you knew and life as you knew it if 80,000 people in your state were killed? Can you??

I read about this in recent news articles hidden in the back-pages of the world wide web and I feel sick and sad at once. We, and I use the term inclusive of myself, have forsaken these people, offered them little (if anything) in support or aid and left them to fend for themselves against the most inconceivable of odds.

They are about to face their second winter in makeshift tents. They had little to begin with but their supplies dwindle daily, their tents are leaking and winter in the Himalayas approaches fast. How can these amazing people have survived? I don’t know, you and I would probably curl up into a little ball and perish in a week, but now they’re facing winter and they must be asking themselves “how can we make it?”

I don’t know how much they need. I can’t really fathom 2 million people struggling for survival. I’ve never seen (or even heard) anything like it. It’s such a phenomenal number that it’s hard to accept it’s even real, but it is. This is reality for so many people.

What can I give and who can I give it to?

Please consider donating anything you can to Oxfam, a global charity supported by world governments and aid organisations. Oxfam – Donate now and help thousands of people much less fortunate than yourself.

Did I say 80,000 Americans killed? Wooops, but since you're here, you might as well care!!!

Related: One Year Later, Pakistan's Earthquake Survivors Still Lack Proper Shelter

Flight attendants join mile high club.

2006-09-29T13:20:00.000+10:00

There are several ways to interpret the phrase “inflight entertainment”. I’m going to ignore individual monitors on the rear-side of seat headrests in favour of something more … juicy.

Let’s talk flight attendants! Have you ever noticed how the Singapore Airlines uniform has a sky-high split that reveals everything up to heaven when the stewardess takes a step, the cool sarong sweeping across the silky tanned skin of the towering beauty’s upper thigh?

The more corporate looking uniforms associated with airlines like Qantas and British Airways hold there own in the realm of male fantasies. Those skirts lift to reveal a tantalising hint of what’s-to-come when the attendant reaches up to arrange the overhead locker at the beginning of a flight.

How many times have you asked yourself “I wonder how many of the Virgin hostesses are?”

What do you automatically assume is going on when you read the following headline: Qantas jet crew 'had sex romp'

I bet a headline like that draws a lot of male attention. How disappointed they must be, then, to discover the flight attendants involved were male? What? Male flight attendant uniforms don’t show off silky thighs or have crisp white blouses clinging lustily to a pair of perky breasts. This isn’t natural!

Well that’s what their crew mate thought, too. Apparently a third male flight attendant, not involved in (invited to) the romp complained about the inflight antics that he witnessed on route to London. The mere fact that the event has made the news is pretty astounding. Do you think anyone would care if the flight attendants involved had been female? No, because it’s basically part of their job description.

Maybe it’s time to spread a bit of equality on board aeroplanes. From now on, I want to see some rippling pectorials beneath body-hugging polo shirts, bulging biceps erupting from the sleeves. A pair of light canvas pants gripping a pair of tight buns, Calvin Klein shorts peaking out from the waistband with a hint of hairless pelvis on display. Finish it off with two tanned feet and manicured toes in a pair of brown leather Birkenstocks. Now that’s what I call entertainment!

What? It’s just an idea!

War on Iraq. Woops!

2006-09-27T12:37:00.000+10:00

Breaking news: US foreign policy not so well received by the rest of the world.

A declassified report shows the US government is aware that the war in/on Iraq has only made things worse. The extremist terrorist groups have been fuelled by anger and resentment as a result of the war on Isla ... er, terrorism. Since 2003 the threat of terrorism has spread across the globe, recruiting members in the truck-loads as it goes.

Bush, however, denies the information contained in the report and says anyone who believes it is naive. Mr. Bush ... Pots and Kettles etc!!

It's nice to think that Bush can't be re-elected, unless he decides to back out of that agreement as well (see: Kyoto, Geneva etc). His actions, personality and stupidity have done so little to benefit the world. Yes, I might even go as far as to say he's actively screwed things up.

You know something? US foreign policy hasn't been very popular for decades now, even before Bush got his hands into the cake mix and started trying to force feed the world American rhetoric of liberty, democracy and freedom. But the simple fact is, the rest of the world doesn't think America is the be-all-and-end-all. I'm Australian and my husband is American ... guess where we live. WRONG, Mr. W! We live in Australia.

I'm not even from a country that's on the US hit-list for most hated lifestyle, religious choice, culinary traditions etc and yet I've had it up to my frizzy strands of hair that stick out from the top of my head with hearing how the US epitomises perfection and all that is great on Earth. I can only imagine how "the others" feel.

Related: Iraq war attracted extremists: report

Howard to sell Australian uranium to India

2006-09-26T18:08:00.000+10:00

Pop quiz, Hotshot! You have an awesome product that just about everyone wants to get their hands on, but your company's code of practice limits your potential customer base to a select few people who are part of an exclusive club. You know how much money could be made by selling your product outside the club. What do you do? What do you do?

Maybe this is the thought process behind John Howard's desire to sell uranium to India, despite the fact that current Australia policy bans uranium sales to countries that haven't signed the nuclear non-proliferation treaty.

Australia sits on a veritable gold-mine of uranium deposits. In the current political world there's a fortune to be made by opening up exports completely and selling off the good stuff to the highest bidder, but laws are laws ...

We already sold uranium to China, after insisting they sign the relevant treaty, but come on! As if China of all countries doesn't want to stockpile nuclear capabilities since they're practically sitting on the bull-ant nest that is North Korea. Ok Ok, I'm speculating. I don't know what China is doing with Australian uranium.

But seriously, what good does a treaty actually do once a country says "Hey, you know that uranium we bought off you, well guess what ... NOW who got da bomb?"

So woop-de-do if we sell to India or not. I mean, they might have Pakistan bothering their borders and all but I'm not going to wage a guess at what they want uranium for. I just want to know why Australia thinks they need to mine and sell uranium at all. Am I alone in thinking it would be better left buried?

Related: Howard signals option of uranium sales to India

Apple calls for podcast cease and desist

2006-09-25T12:07:00.000+10:00

Is the term "podcast" legally owned by Apple? Some try to argue its origins, claiming the pod in this case stands for "personal on demand", but we all know that's a load of rubbish. The term certainly comes from the immensely popular portable mp3 players that exist under the Apple brand.

But Apple wants a stop to this crazy overuse of their branding. It's actually causing them difficulty in trademarking their own iPod brand. Apple is trying to trademark "iPodcast" but keep having their submission rejected due to the indeterminate definitions offered by Apple, such as "computer intercommunication" and "access and links".

As a result, Apple wants to claim back their entitlement to the branding that they started. They're issuing scary "cease and desist" threats to companys using pod-related terms in their own branding. The big one to hit the news is a Houston company called Podcast Ready. Many people believe Apple doesn't have a claim to the word "podcast". It's been used for two years without any argument, and many point out the free advertising that Apple has benefitted from this entire time. It clearly hasn't hurt Apple iPod sales, which continue from strength to strength.

So much so, in fact, that Microsoft attempted a very weak push to change the term "podcast" to "blogcast". They were laughed out of town and "podcast" never suffered even a dent in popular usage.

Branding becoming a generic term is not new to iPod. Think Bandaid, Kleenex, Hoover etc. The difference clearly being that these companies trademarked their brands properly. The use of these brand names generically only helps enhance the popularity and longevity of the products.

Apple have a real problem on their hands if they can't trademark their own brand, but honestly ... they screwed up. Maybe they just need to move on and let go of this iPodcasting, whatever it is.

Related: EXCLUSIVE: Apple Trademark Office docs point to REAL reasons for" Podcast" controversy

US death toll more than 9/11

2006-09-23T21:42:00.000+10:00

Isn't politics interesting?

Here's an issue that's bigger than proverbial Jesus. One could argue sides until the cows come home, and yet despite the magnitude of it, these latest facts speak for themselves.

As of yesterday the number of US Solidiers killed in Afghanistan and Iraq since, and because of, 9/11 is higher than the number of people killed on that fateful September day.

So many questions arise. Whose life is worth dying for? Whose death is worth dying for? How many people have to die? Do the terrorists even have to try? I'm a poet and I didn't even know it

Branson to save environment

2006-09-22T11:01:00.000+10:00

Sometimes I’m sad that I’m not a billionaire. Seriously. I sort of idolise Sir Richard Branson, he epitomises the kind of billionaire I’d like to be. I don’t follow him around and send him love letters or anything, but I do like the chap.

Good ol’ Branson has just pledged $US3 billion towards 10 year development of renewable energy. He also wants to use his lofty position to put pressure on the Australian Government to sign the Kyoto agreement.

It wasn’t all that many years ago that Australia was really leading in the greenhouse emission reduction. We were significantly under the “allowed” pollution index as laid out on the Kyoto protocol. But Australia got arrogant and decided since we weren’t the world’s worst polluters we could rest on our laurels and stop caring.

I hope Branson can convince the Australian government to get off their backsides and be proactive in trying to save the world from environmental destruction. We all know that if the world dies we die along with it, so why don’t we care a bit more?

Branson’s way of describing it was "What we have effectively got is a fire burning around the world which is getting stronger and stronger every year, and we have got to put that fire out".

In related news, the US state of California is suing six car manufacturers for polluting the world and causing health problems. The Deputy Attorney General said “we want to get the automakers to start to work out the problem and pay for whatever damages they may be a part of causing."

This is an interesting turn of events. I like the idea of pressuring these car manufacturers into getting with the program. At the very least, it’s helping to draw attention to the problem.

So that’s good news. Richard Branson and the State of California are cool. But don’t get lazy, don’t think “Let the billionaires and politicians figure it out.” We all need to work together.

My mission is to get hydrogen cars to Australia.

Related links:
Branson in the news, California sues car manufacturers, Arnie and Blair save the world

Elephant speaks Korean

2006-09-15T14:44:00.000+10:00

How much do we underestimate other members of the animal kingdom? With all the appalling things humans do to create pain, discomfort and general poor living conditions for other animals, we often justify our actions through suggestions that other animals are less complex than humans, are lower on the food chain, lack souls, are not self-aware, don’t feel pain, have no fundamental rights, etc etc.

Scientists have been studying the apparent language and social structures of dolphins for many years and some have suggested that dolphins are, at least, as intelligent as humans. However, the communication gap between humans and dolphins has never been bridged so we don’t really know what is going on with pods of dolphins living out there in the second-last frontier.

Apes, the closest relative to humans in evolutionary terms, have shown a propensity towards understanding human language and being able to communicate via a keyboard or typewriter. Their cousin, the Orang-utan, has proven to be wily and industrious when kept in captivity. The giant primates have been known to make tools out of random objects, like bending wire pieces into lock picks and figuring out how to release themselves from their prison-like cages. This ability to build is an attribute often believed to be unique to humans, but our orange friends have proven otherwise.

If we could talk to other animals perhaps we’d better understand their situation and be more sensitive to their needs and desires. However, until recently parrots have been the only other animal capable of reproducing human sounds, although most would agree their “voice” is little more than repetition without meaning.

However, everything we’ve ever thought or assumed about other animals could well be completely false. Watch this, it's the most amazing thing ever, and judge for yourself.

Yes, the elephant is most likely mimicking human sounds rather than attempting communication, although the jury is still out on that one. However, please consider the amazing awareness the elephant has demonstrated by knowing humans are unable to perceive the natural sounds that elephants make, their low register being beyond the range that human ears can hear. The elephant has not only realised this, but found a way to overcome that obstacle by using his own trunk like a trumpet to create higher frequency sounds.

Not only has the elephant found a way to create higher pitches, but more specifically he is able to reproduce human language, but he doesn’t stop with the satisfaction of being able to speak a few sounds, he actually practises the few vocabulary words he knows when he is alone in his shelter at night. He’s not doing that for sheer entertainment value, there must be more to this elephant’s determined drive to be able to speak the same language as his trainer.

It’s the most remarkable thing I’ve ever seen and heard. If anyone tried to tell me it without visual proof, I honestly wouldn’t believe it. I therefore urge you to watch it for yourself and share it with your friends. We, as humans, should all know that other animals aren’t as plain, stupid, unaware, uncomplicated, bottom-of-the-food-chain dwelling as we might have thought.

George Bush abandons Geneva convention

2006-07-11T15:25:00.000+10:00

How many Human Rights violations can the US government commit before they are held accountable for the atrocities of recent war-related activities?

The Geneva Convention, adopted on 12 August, 1949, lays out the laws by which prisoners of war are to be treated at all times.

The laws clearly state that no prisoner of war, or person not involved in active combat at that very moment, must not be subjected to any form of torture, humiliation, mutilation, degradation or execution.

The law is there to say, if someone is not in the process of active war fare, running around with a weapon fighting you or your army, if they are in any way incapacitated from fighting, having had their weapons removed and then locked away in a POW camp, DO NOT HARM THEM!

The US soldiers who tortured prisoners at the notorious Abu Ghraib prison, subjecting prisoners to sexual humiliation and assault and took photos to prove it, directly violated the Geneva code.

http://www.newyorker.com/fact/content/?040510fa_fact

The Prisoners detained at Guantanamo Bay without trial, their hands and legs bounds, their faces permanently covered, and their bodies given no place to rest have been subjected to all kinds of torture under the hands of the US government, in yet another severe breech of Geneva laws.

The Bush administration tried to argue that the detainees are not entitled to protection under the Geneva Convention, despite a Prisoner of War who is protected by the convention being defined in the following way:

A. Prisoners of war, in the sense of the present Convention, are persons belonging to one of the following categories, who have fallen into the power of the enemy:
1. Members of the armed forces of a Party to the conflict as well as members of militias or volunteer corps forming part of such armed forces.
2. Members of other militias and members of other volunteer corps, including those of organized resistance movements, belonging to a Party to the conflict and operating in or outside their own territory, even if this territory is occupied, provided that such militias or volunteer corps, including such organized resistance movements, fulfil the following conditions:
(a) That of being commanded by a person responsible for his subordinates;
(b) That of having a fixed distinctive sign recognizable at a distance;
(c) That of carrying arms openly;
(d) That of conducting their operations in accordance with the laws and customs of war.
3. Members of regular armed forces who profess allegiance to a government or an authority not recognized by the Detaining Power.

http://www.unhchr.ch/html/menu3/b/91.htm

That pretty much covers every possible base, wouldn’t you say? The convention also says that all prisoners are entitled to protection until "their status has been determined by a competent tribunal." The Guantanamo Bay detainees remain without trial, guilty until proven anything.

Most recent in the news is the rape of a 14 year Iraqi girl (SMH, July 11, 2006) and the murder of her family by Soliders disguised as civilians, who plotted and planned the rape and apparently bothered the young girl before committing this appalling crime. Such attacks on innocent civilians is the embodiment of the US attack on the very idea of maintaining any semblance of decency in times of war.

And yet the US government will be the first to point fingers and bark accusations as soon as any other government dares put a toe over the line. Outrage flares at the idea of any country building nuclear missiles and yet I ask you, which is the only country to EVER use them?

Screen Goddess IT calendar

2006-07-10T14:14:00.000+10:00

A calendar of women in IT, posing in familiar movie-poster scenes, is now available. It’s a delightful little parody of sex-appeal, depicting women who are commonly stereotyped as geeks in the roles of screen sirens.

There’s Sharon doubling as Ursula Andress in the famous Dr No scene, stepping out of the waves in a bikini, Megyn in her voluptuousness doing a Catherine Zeta-Jones in Zorro, and my favourite Barbara and Linda doing it for the older women as a highly convincing Thelma and Louise.

Check it out at http://www.itgoddess.info

The calendar looks great, but according to Sydney Morning Herald article (July 9, 2006) the creators were inspired to challenge the perception that women in IT are about as a sexy as a wet baboon, hoping to attract more women back to IT.

Apparently the number of women employed in IT has fallen and continues to decline. The Sydney Morning Herald touched on this issue once before (Google in need of the feminine touch, April 18, 2006) when they revealed Google Australia’s failing attempts to draw more women to the IT workforce.

The makers of the calendar think it’s due to the perception that people in IT are all geeks that turn women away from the industry. As if women are so shallow and obsessed with appearance that they’d base their career choice entirely on how others may or may not perceive them.

Google and other organisation are trying to attract women to the workplace, but unless they’re a woman who has experience working in the IT industry, I fear they may not know exactly what they’re dealing with.

It’s not that IT isn’t interesting to women. Many women love computers and technology and are just as “switched on” as their male counterparts. But as a woman who worked for several years in IT, perhaps I can shed some light on why women are turning and running away.

There is something to be said about the types of people attracted to the IT industry, and while not all IT workers are geeks, the number of socially-inept males who have no idea how to relate to women and deal with them on equal footing on a day-to-day basis is too great for comfort.

I will share my experience in the IT industry, in the hope that it helps Google and other organisations make drastic changes that will get women back in IT.

My first job while I was still studying multimedia at UTS, I worked for an insane man with no business knowledge. He was an angry man rapidly running his dotcom into the ground. He yelled at clients and then came to me for emotional support. He was my boss, yet he asked me out constantly, not accepting “no” as an answer. He told me “You know how I feel about you,” as if that would make a difference and once tricked me into a dinner date, pretending we were just popping out for a quick feed while working late one evening. He took me to a fancy restaurant instead and I sat through one very akward dinner. Finally, he yelled at me for singing too loudly, punched a door which split down the middle and left the office to go abuse another client. I was gone by the time he came back. He rang me and begged me to return, but there wasn’t a chance.

After that experience, I actually decided not to work in IT any more, but a job came my way and I was unemployed at the time and about to graduate. Although they offered me a pittance of a salary I was thinking about beggers and choosers so I took the job. I worked with some really great, interesting and not-geeky people, my workmates and equals.

I say equals, but that is not how the company viewed it. Let’s just say my closest male workmate doing the same job as me earned $20,000 more than I did. It was far from equal!

But, because I enjoyed working alongside some great people I stupidly endured 2 years at that company and came out of it very bitter and upset. My workmates were great, but my bosses were a nightmare. One hardcore geek with zero social skills (and a personality exactly the same as David Brent from TV’s The Office) was my direct superior. He thought it was amusing to call me a “peanut-smuggler” infront of my workmates and encouraged them to use the term as freely as they liked. I rushed out to buy bras that were heavily lined so that my nipples would never show in the cold again.

I wore jeans and pretty ordinary clothes to that job. It was a casual workplace. I thought I was reasonably attired, but at one christmas party the company’s CEO decided it was appropriate to leer at me and accuse me of wearing tight jeans and wagging my “perky little arse around” at the office. I was gob-smacked and walked away, choosing not to respond to such an uncalled-for accusation.

I considered suing the company for harrassment but they were embroiled in so many other legal battles, and I was planning my move out of IT forever, so I decided not to waste any more time or energy on them. They were probably relying on that. I moved to Japan, changed my life completely and never once looked back.

Neither company exists any more. They imploded through poor management and a general lack of idea about life in general. Good riddance I say, but I have to wonder how many other women have had similar experiences. I can’t be the only one. If woman are to return to IT, there has to be a dramatic re-shaping of society and men’s attitudes towards women need to completely change. While the calendar is cute, shiny and enjoyable I have to wonder what kind of workplace those poor women will return to once their geeky, useless bosses get an eyeful of them in their underwear. I shudder to think!

Actors on strike

2006-07-04T13:12:00.000+10:00

I could be wrong, but I thought the point of a hunger strike was to shock decision makers into action for fear that their inaction might actually kill the fasting person. So I have to wonder, what exactly do political activist actors like Sean Penn and Susan Sarandon hope to achieve with their so-called “rolling fast” (SMH, July 4, 2006)? Apparently they’ll go without food for a whole 24 hours before passing the food-ban to the next in line.

I’ve never heard of a 24-hour hunger strike.

I’ve heard of the 40-hour famine, the World Vision organised fast largely participated by teenagers hoping to raise funds and awareness for starving children around the world. Participants go without solid foods (but can eat glucose sweets and drink plenty of water) for the duration of 40 hours. Participants seek sponsorship from family and friends and the proceeds go to the World Vision charity. Apparently 40 hours without real food is something of a challenge, but completely achievable and the effects aren’t exactly lasting.

So again I wonder, what’s with the 24-hour fast?

I feel gypped. I adore Susan Sarandon, she’s my numero uno favourito actress. She was perky and brilliant in Rocky Horror Picture Show, sexy and strong in Thelma and Louise, hot and seductive in Bull Durham, and heart-breakingly tragic in Anywhere But Here. She’s a glory to watch and I appreciate her being politically active and a hell of a lot more than a set of abundant boobs, but 24 hours? Come on Susie, you can do better than that!!

We’re expected to believe that Sean Penn can throw a good punch and survive being married to Madonna, but he can’t go any longer than 24 hours without food? What gives?

I’m far from impressed, and I like these people. So how can they expect any politician, especially no-soul Bush to give a rat’s arse that they’ve got nothing on their plates for a day?

BB06, Big Brother shock

2006-07-02T17:47:00.000+10:00

Named after the omnipresent character in George Orwell’s famous novel comes the TV series shown in various formats around the world. Not being a huge fan of the concept of reality TV I’ve avoided the Australian series for 5 years, but I found myself watching it with Jeremy, a fan of the American series, despite my warnings that the Australian version is very boring.

However, we became involved and we’ve watched almost every daily episode, making friendly wagers as to the fates of nominated contestants. So far I’ve guessed almost every single one correctly. I must be in tune with the opinions of the Australian public. Basically, the ones I like the least have been the ones to leave, which keeps me vaguely satisfied while watching the boring show.

Today I woke up and went through my daily ritual of consuming breakfast and then checking the world of online news. I was surprised to learn from the Sydney Morning Herald that “Ash” and “John” (apparently not their real names) were booted out of the Gold Coast house for a serious breach of house rules. Big Brother (ltd) carefully guarded the truth behind the incident, although it was later reported that people watching the live online feed at 4:30am had described the incident on the Big Brother forum. It turned out loud-mouth Camilla had been sexual harassed by the two boys, perhaps even assaulted.

When I checked, the Big Brother forum was removed from their web site “until further notice” while BB continues to try to censor information and block access to the truth.

Let me repeat that: BB continues to try to censor information and block access to the truth.

This IS Big Brother we’re talking about, the same guy who kept a sharp eye on Oceania in 1984, who bastardised the language into the simplified form of “newspeak”, exercised thought control over the entire public, changed history on a daily basis and invented a world war that wasn’t really happening. In the face of all he’s done, is a little censorship of information very surprising?

Welcome back to reality. This isn’t 1984 and Big Brother isn’t really a dictator. It’s only a TV series.

Why did the host, Gretel Colleen, make assertive claims against evicted contestant, Michael, that Big Brother never edits footage? Michael was simply trying to state the widely known fact that from 24-hours of footage, only 30 minutes are shown which are carefully selected and chosen from certain camera angles with scenes cut short and depicted out of context with the specific intention of creating drama and entertainment. There was little-miss “I have children and I know when someone’s trying to bamboozle me” going red in the face and making poor Michael feel very unwelcome as she defends Big Brother’s … what … honour?

I can’t understand what they’re all so uptight about. The “adults only” edition was recently axed after too much gratuitous footage was aired. That wasn’t Big Brother’s doing, it was the network doing the censoring. This entire series has been a total shambles, but it wasn’t just this year. Apparently last year the show was in serious trouble for showing footage of a male contestant rubbing his penis on a female contestant’s back, without her knowing what was going on.

They got in trouble for that last year, so this year they’re heavily censoring this recent and similar incident. But they don’t seem to understand that there has to be some inbetween ground. Whoever produces the show clearly has no idea.

Or do they? Is the secrecy surrounding the event and BB's refusal to comment just a big publicity stunt? Record numbers of viewers are likely to tune in tonight to the first aired show since the event. By keeping mum about the incident, BB can assure a record-breaking audience for tonight's "daily" update and eviction show. Even if they fail to reveal the truth, there'll be no avoiding the fall out on the housemates. So it turns out Big Brother is still in control, flexing his muscles over the viewing behaviour of the Australian public. It's the next best thing to thought control.

Market Research, Do Not Call

2006-06-21T17:38:00.000+10:00

Almost every day I am called by off-shore telemarketing companies, mostly Telcos, trying to push their product on me. I actually don’t mind responding to surveys because I value my opinion and want it counted, but I’m never going to buy something being hawked over the phone line at dinner time.

The callers are invariably Indian-accented women with a very un-Indian name like “Cindy” or “Katie”. The phone calls started the day we had the phone line connected. When I tried to explain I’d only just set up the phone line and wasn’t interested in changing my service, the caller actually got angry at me.

Some days there isn’t even a person on the other end of the line but a recorded voice with an American accent. “[long delay]Hi there[long delay]my name’s Tracy …” and then I hang up.

I noticed they always ask to speak to “Mr Smith”. This is either the previous owner of my phone number or a generic name for anglo-Australians.

I have explained that I am not Mr or Mrs Smith but this did not deter them. “Perhaps you are interested in our …” beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

I’ve taken to saying “No sorry, you have the wrong number” and hanging up immediately. It hasn’t stopped the calls, but it prevents unwanted chit-chat.

I’m thrilled, therefore, at the prospect of the new “do not call” register that may soon be introduced in Australia (SMH, June 21 2006). It will be illegal for any telemarketing agency to call a person who has added their name to the list.

The US and the UK have had similar registers for many years. Why Australian hasn’t implemented this yet is anyone’s guess. I have heard other people complain they get these calls every day, but I didn’t believe it until it happened to me.

But, as I mentioned these annoying daily calls come from offshore companies. Will the laws stop call centres in India or recorded messages from Tracy?

Apparently the debate continues. What debate? What is there to argue about on this issue?

Real estate or petroleum?

2006-06-19T20:42:00.000+10:00

Wow. According to the Sydney Morning Herald, June 19, 2006, Australian oil expenditure was $500,000,000 more than it was in April. This amount is threatening to blow out our trade deficit. Can anyone believe that we can spend that much in 1 month on fuel?

Apparently this is influencing rental prices, which are going up because people are abandoning their mortgages in favour of paying for their petrol. This implies we are wiping our hands on our pants and walking away from the great Australian dream of owning our own house.

This strikes me as being slightly insane. Did we think this through before we traded stability, comfort and a sense of our personal identity for a full tank of oil?

I use the term “we” fairly loosely because I, personally, rarely drive. Lately I’ve been walking a lot. It’s the first time in my life that I’ve taken to my feet over hopping in the car. It could be that my car is parked inconveniently and I’d rather leave it collecting gum leaves and bird droppings than fight for a parking space around my inner-city apartment, but with the glorious, highly under-rated warm, blue skies of a Sydney winter (an observation after two years of the dismal, overcast, stuffy, cloudy, humidity of Osaka), I’m actually enjoying the walking.

I am not giving up my dream of buying a house in favour of oil. If I don’t buy property, who will end up owning it?

I think that’s something worth seriously considering!

Sperm from Donor 401

2006-05-17T13:25:00.000+10:00

I recently heard about a man in California known only as number 401. He was a sperm donor who stopped assisting laboratory-style reproduction 2 years ago. He was the perfect Arian and his DNA was in high demand from women seeking blonde-haired, blue eyed children of German extraction who tan well.

His sperm is so popular that when a woman recently discovered she had 17 unused vials of his DNA sitting in her garage, she offered it up to wishful 401-mum wannabees and was subsequently offered thousands for her collection, as if it were a rare Picasso or the Mona Lisa itself.

Number 401 has fathered at least 11 children who are part of a super family of women, mostly single, who keep in touch over the internet. They say they have less interest in knowing who the man is than in knowing each other, but their children are young and there is no doubt in my mind that this group of 11 will one day seek out their father. Number 401 will be confronted by a group of children knocking on his door, wanting to be let in to the secret that is his identity.

The women seem to be living in a state of denial if they think this will not happen. Louisa Weix, 43, mother of 401 spawn, was quoted as saying “Some doors are better left closed”, but does she get to make that decision? For now, while her child is too little to do anything independently of her she can make such bold statements, but in recent years there have been a few people track down their biological, sperm-donator fathers through records kept on the internet. With the power of 11 children working together to find whatever details they need, it’s only a matter of time. It WILL happen.

I often wonder, and my thoughts on the topic are generally unpopular and perhaps a little antagonistic, if some people reproduce for rather selfish reasons without much thought to their offspring. I hold the fairly cynical opinion that many parents truly believe their DNA is somehow superior and, therefore, worth replicating. Ask any parent and they will adamantly deny it, but how many times have I heard new parents declare that their child is above average and then try to demonstrate through a show of their progeny’s amazing ability to colour match. Or how many times have I heard prospective parents planning the future of their sure-to-be brilliant bundle of joy.

I worked with a kind of crazy guy whose wife was pregnant. He pondered one day what he might do if his unborn girl turned out to be less than a genius. I suggested he might love her and support her in whatever interests she wished to pursue in life. He wasn’t happy about the prospect. Ok, so he was an extreme case but I use him as an example because I suspect the same thought has occurred many, many times to many, many, many different people, waiting for their perfect combination of genes to arrive and make their big, bright mark on the world.

I’ll return now to the 401 children whose mothers keep in touch with each other, sharing baby photos and developmental stories. Can you imagine the competition? What’s going to happen when one child clearly outranks the others in mental capacity, or when another shows an aptitude for sport? When they’re a little bit older, one starts taking drugs and another ends up in Jail, while another one becomes a public prosecutor after graduating early at the age of 19 and the oldest of the lot opts out of the race to go live on a commune.

Children are not toys or robots. They are people, unique and individual, not an expression of a set of genes or a showcase of a successful blend of DNA. I wonder why women are scrambling to get their hands on the stash of unused 401 vials that recently turned up. Don’t they want their child to be completely unique? Don’t they want their child to be someone with their own, distinct personality who will grow up to be truly one of a kind? With all the evidence before me, I can’t help but reach the conclusion that no, these woman would actually prefer a clone and I wonder if they’re the norm rather than the exception.

Secrets of Lost, the TV series

2006-05-10T12:37:00.000+10:00

Television is changing and perhaps it’s time this beast steps out of the primordial slime and evolves. We are living in a world of multi-everything. From multimedia to multitasking we have people to see, places to be, things to do and more choice than ever before. But from the time we first switched on and tuned out, television has been the medium of choice to escape the crazy jumble of everyday life and for an hour or 2 do nothing at all.

But how long is it going to last?

The producers of the popular hit television series, Lost, got with the program and merged fiction with reality with fiction again. In a sub-plot twist, a novel is found by a character who didn’t survive the plane crash. Author Gary Troup (fictitious, yet surreally real) delivered his novel Bad Twin just days before the doomed flight. www.amazon.com is selling the novel alongside the entire first series of Lost on DVD. There is a broken interview with Gary Troup including a reference to his first book which is mysteriously unavailable, but relates to the Hanso foundation, which relates back to the bizarre hatch and strange Others on the island where Lost takes place.

Lost abounds with hidden hints. In order to follow the show completely its fans are crawling the internet for missed clues and shared theories. There are several web sites connected with the show, including an official web site for the fictitious Oceanic Airlines, with all operations ceased following the flight 815 disaster. New web sites associated with the show keep popping up. I’m not exactly keeping track of it, but I can’t help noticing them. Are they officially related to the show? Some probably are and some might not be, but one thing is for certain, never before has any television series crossed so many mediums.

If you’re not yet convinced, channel 7 recently aired a Lost special hosted by the series’ director. JJ Abrams revealed there is a reference to the series hidden in his recently released Mi3 movie. Yes, that’s correct. The blockbusting sequel to the Tom Cruise films contains a reference to the world of Lost.

But that’s not all! On an episode aired recently in Australia the series was interrupted for an advertisement. It took me a moment of contemplation to realise it wasn’t a regular commercial break. It was an advertisement for Hanso, the fictitious organisation most likely responsible for all the strange events happening on the island. In the midst of watching the main characters trekking through the tropical jungle, the narrative was interrupted with a self-imbedded commercial. The commercial contained a freecall number. The number was real and according to a Wikipedia reference was different in every country where the episode aired. Calling the number led to a whole new set of mysteries and the telephone Medium was crossed.

I’ve been watching the show, but as I said I haven’t been following its multimedia spinoffs in any depth. I am, however, immensely interested in how the producers of the show are using every available technology to (not to sound too cynical) make money and enhance the viewers’ experience of the TV series. Is this the future of television? My magic 8 ball tells me: Outlook Likely.

Men with guns

2006-05-04T18:03:00.000+10:00

Hunting is an old tradition and is most certainly not limited to the humans. Lions hunt, bears hunt, kittens hunt, whales hunt … in fact I struggle to think of any member of the animal kingdom that doesn’t.

Tribes around the world use hunting as a fundamental part of survival. Without hunting there would be no meat, no source of protein and iron and no skins for shelters, decorations and clothes. The African Bushmen consider the art of hunting very sacred and a single hunter will go without food, sleep or shelter for days to track his prey and return to his tribe with the prize. Denied of sustenance, he goes into a delirious trance and becomes one with the animal he is tracking.

There are few who would argue against a form of hunting which places such respect on the prey. There are few who would argue against any tribe or culture that hunts merely for survival. Yet in the culture of the Western Man, hunting is often played as a sport and done merely for entertainment.

Foxes were introduced into Australia. Can any one imagine how foxes might arrive accidentally on a boat? It was no accident. They were imported purely for the sport of hunting. They were brought over in cages and then released and pursued, but apparently those early settlers weren’t so good with the tracking because foxes have flourished unchecked since their arrival.

It’s this reckless and pointless aspect of hunting that upsets a lot of people. Killing for fun, as it could be described bluntly, certainly isn’t something that appeals to every one. There are legal seasons to kill certain animals, but that isn’t to say the law is always adhered to. Hunting is not easy to control and the concern many people have is losing entire species as a result.

Popular hunting, like hunting ducks, deer and bears, doesn’t threaten endangered species, but it has happened before and it could happen again. Remember the Thylacine, the Tasmanian tiger? It was perceived as a threat, a pest, preying on sheep and poultry. The farmers hunted it (with the help of their dogs) to extinction.

Many hunters argue that they are killing pests and dangerous animals. In Australia the Kangaroo, a native animal, has reached pest status. As inland water holes dry up over a long period of drought, the Kangaroos move into rural and urban areas and their numbers have become too great. Could there come a time when Kangaroos are hunted to extinction? It is possible.

But how about species of animals we don’t even know about yet, or anomalous combinations? Is it not possible that a small hunting accident or miscalculation could be detrimental in ways we might not imagine?

A hunter in the US paid $50,000 for a sport hunting trip (that’s big business) and now faces court over the slaying of a “Grolar” or “Prizzly” Bear (CBC, April 26), a mix between a Grizzly and Polar bear, the only one believed to be in existence. It’s so rare it doesn’t even have a proper name and may never be found again. The man’s in trouble not because he killed a rare species but because he didn’t have a suitable hunting license. The man’s reaction to the event? “Y'know, I've spent $50,000 here. And … to come back with nothing, I don't think that's fair".

Never mind he might have denied the world of the only animal of its kind, he just wants his trophy.

Heroes and role models

2006-05-01T13:44:00.000+10:00

During an episode of the current US Survivor series an aged astronaut revealed his secret identity to his island buddies. It was a touching moment of pride and respect. The younger men revered the space man and for a moment it seemed their resulting blokey-bond was infallible.

Jeremy and I watched with a certain degree of disinterest. I wondered aloud why meeting an astronaut creates such an occasion in this day and age. Yeah, CNN (28 April, 2006) still reports shuttle launches, and they may or may not be televised on obscure American cable networks, but they go largely unnoticed. The population just isn’t that interested any more.

Jeremy remarked that space travel is about to become openly available to the general public, or at least those with sufficient funds. Virgin Galactic is on the verge of introducing space travel with a space port being built in New Mexico and the first flights set to take place in 2008.

As more people can fly through the outer atmosphere, the importance and nobility of astronauts will fade to nothing. Is this sad? Well, that probably depends on a few factors. Did you dream of bouncing around the surface of the moon while playing with your space Lego set and Star Wars figurines when you were a child? Is your dear-ol’ Grandpoppy a decorated astro-god? Did you narrowly miss out on a chance to fly into space and you’ve been desperately hoping another chance will come to set your name in the history of space travel?

If you answered “no” to these questions, there’s a good chance that it makes not a scrap of difference to your life that the future of astronauts is not so rosy. It’s not that they’ll cease to exist. As long as there are new regions of space to explore (and there’s infinite potential for that) astronauts will have a job. In fact, the more space travel expands the more jobs will be available for astronauts, so it’s good news for those of you who are still dreaming.

However, the old Dan-the-astronauts of the world won’t be able to drum up the respect they still, for some reason, get. It won’t be long before “I’m an astronaut” results in the same response as “I’m a freelance web-designer.” Isn’t everyone?

Censorship, advertising and publicity

2006-04-30T18:50:00.000+10:00

Authors walk on thin ice when it comes to writing Children’s literature, TV series and movies. A few years ago I was working on a script for a pilot of a Sci-Fi / Fantasy based TV series for kids. I met with an accomplished script writer for several series of the same genre and age group. One of his series was “Spellbinder”, an Australian series that was quite successful. I had much respect for the man who made time to meet me for lunch in Bondi. He gave me some fascinating insight into the world of children’s TV.

We discussed my pilot and as it turned out, it was far too violent for kids TV. Not that I wrote particularly graphic scenes of violence, but the fact that people died in a gripping opening scene immediately wrote my script off from any possibility of selling it to an audience of children.

What? Don’t people ever die in children’s TV, movies or books? A quick think revealed that in fact no, people don’t die in Never Never Land.

Perhaps it isn’t such a bad thing to protect children from violence in their media. Children’s imagination should be encouraged in the things they watch and read, so it stands to reasonable reason that their imaginations shouldn’t be filled with scenes of death. However, what else should be kept from their precious little impressionable minds.

When I was young I recall a book called “Forever” by Judy Blume being banned from school libraries due to a sexual reference or scene depicted within its sacrilegious pages. More recently, there has been a spate of attacks against J.K. Rowling’s books and countless other series featuring magic and other fantastic themes. The Sydney Morning Herald (April 30, 2006) had an article on just that, discussing the increasing amount of censorship in children’s literature.

It can be a real struggle for writers to get their books published in the first place, but if they do then finding a place for the book on the shelves of school libraries can be near impossible for some authors, such as J.K. Rowling who unexpectedly encountered such opposition from paranoid parents all over the world.

It sends me back to Judy Blume. Do you know what happened when her book was banned from school libraries across Australia? Parents horrified by the thought of censorship raced out to buy the book, encouraging their children to read it and discuss any issues that the book raised. It’s the same with Adult’s media. Controversy creates commercial possibility. A ban raises awareness and can be the kind of advertising that money just can’t buy.

How many people had heard of Salmon Rushdie before he wrote “The Satanic Verses” that resulted in a Fatwa being put on his head? In many ways it was the best thing he could have done, despite the stress to his life in having to leave his country and disappear in hiding. He was able to continue writing and he is one of the most respected writers living today.

A few years ago the French film “Baise Moi” caused a great deal of argument over its rating. While the Australian classifiers disagreed over a final rating, it showed in a few cinemas and with the amount of media attention given to the movie, it attracted more crowds than foreign films usually get. I saw it with friends just before it was rated X and banned from cinemas. It was very explicit and I agreed with the judgement, but regarding it being banned or not, I thought it should never have played in the first place because the movie really sucked.

All the same, media attention drew crowds, it’s an age-old adage. “There’s no such thing as bad publicity.” That saying has never rung truer than in this world that seems to get more insane about censorship every year.

Is petrol/Gas too expensive?

2006-04-27T11:22:00.000+10:00

As petrol prices continue to break record highs we can no longer ignore the problem of fading oil reserves. It stands to reason that oil prices will increase as global supplies diminish. We all knew the day would come, but in our fairytale minds we pictured postapocalysm ala Mad Max, and although our world is falling apart at the seams, no one is quite willing to admit that the time has actually come.

Why hide from truth when it's really not the end of the world? Many a Hollywood actor has been whipping around in an electric hybrid Honda or Toyota for years now, charging their metallic steeds in their garages and carports over night. These little whiz cars use petrol to get going or when a big hill gets in the way, then switch to electric power once the car is in motion, even recharging themselves on downhill slopes.

Research hybrid cars, here.

When I first heard of hybrid cars I also heard about hydrogen power, which was in its infancy at that point in time. I was thrilled to pieces by the concept of Hydrogen power, and vowed that at the very least the first car I bought would be an electric hybrid. I haven't bought a car yet.

Hydrogen power is still being developed, but there are hydrogen pumps scattered all around the world. I was surprised to find one in Perth, Australia. Not all the hydrogen outlets are in general retail locations. However, it does look like an emerging fuel source.

Find your nearest Hydrogen outlet, here.

Also promising is the upcoming release of Ethanol fuel cars. Ford are about to sell a former Gas-Guzzling pickup with a 3-way hybrid of Petrol, Hydrogen and Ethanol. The Car has 3 tanks, so depending on which fuel is cheaper at the time of refilling the driver can take their pick. I love, love LOVE the sound of this. While petrol remains the most readily available fuel, the driver may be restricted in choice at many Service stations, but as alternative fuels become the norm, petrol can be fazed out without any agony to the car owner. What an amazing piece of foresight on Ford's behalf.

Check out the Ford F-250 Super Chief, here.

I'm really thrilled about the future of the environment. Imagine a world of clean cars. Just imagine the air we breathe every day, the cities we live in. It's a huge leap and we're being forced to take it. Right now it's hell on our hip pockets, trying to scrape together the money just to get to work, but people need to stop whining about increased petrol prices and understand that it was inevitable, we all knew it would happen, and now it has. But don't worry so much, the technology exists and is already out there to get us out of so many of the messes we've found ourselves in.

Me? I'm feeling on top of the world!

Airplanes of the future

2006-04-26T13:27:00.000+10:00

I've been looking at the specifications of the new Boeing 747-8 air mansion. The interior design is very nice and looks more like a fancy hotel than an aeroplane. Of course, the focus is on first class. It took me a while, but I found a video that shows economy class, and it doesn't look promising.

There is an option for economy passengers to pay a premium for an actual bed. The video shows about 8 beds in total. I can't even imagine what they'd cost. Will broke economy passengers like me who can't sleep while seated ever get a chance to have a nice, long-haul flight?

It seems no one is ever going to do anything about economy class. I came across one person's theory that it costs regular airlines with regular planes $20 to carry the weight of an empty soda can. Someone remarked at that rate it would cost $15,000 per passenger, which supports Jeremy's theory that it's the first class passengers paying for the entire flight.

I did a quick, random search on first class costs from Sydney to Rome. The price quoted was almost exactly $15,000 for a return air fare. Sydney to New York was $1000 more. The prices for economy travel to those same destinations? Around $2,800 and $2,600 respectively (and we all know you can travel for cheaper than that).

That's a pretty substantial hike-up in costs. If I could afford it, I would say it's worth it. As shameful as that sounds to me, as if $15,000 couldn't be better spent, I hate hate HATE travelling in cattle class so much, I'd pay the extra for a stint in first class if I had the pocket change. As it happens, forking out the cash for an economy ticket hurts me quite sufficiently.

Anyway, the news is great for business and first class travellers, and even the crew will be treated to luxury. The plane itself is very nice looking, you should check it out even though it'll just make economy class travellers even more depressed.

Images and video of the Boeing 747-8